Baby Sleeping habit

Beberapa hari ini, baby hilmi lagi agak gampang nangis nih...Especially kalo dia mau tidur, trus ga bisa tidur. Whoaa....yang repot ummi dan bapaknya deh.

Alhamdulillah, ada kesempatan untuk searching via google, trus dapet website yang bagus untuk menjawab kebingunganku.

1. http://johnsonsbaby.com/Sleep/default.html

2.http://www.youtube.com/watchv=TI7Bh0qkNP4&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=0E82F960171E0861

3.http://www.youtube.com/watchv=dW8wmNzDg_Q&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=0E82F960171E0861

Website yang paling atas ada layanan untuk meng-assess tidur bayi kita dan memberi masukan2 bagaimana cara menidurkan bayi yang baik. Ini bermanfaat banget bagi orang tua yang ingin tahu bagaimana pola tidur bayinya dibandingkan dengan bayi2 lain seusianya, apakah sudah cukup baik atau tidak melalui profiling baby sleep pattern. Quesioner ini disusun berdasarkan penelitian ahli bayi.

Kemudian website nomor 2 dan 3 merupakan presentasi dari seorang ahli dibidang tidur pada bayi. Website ini bagiku sangat bermanfaat untuk menambah pemahaman ttg bagaimana sebenarnya sleep patern pada bayi. Sehingga pada akhirnya aku bisa mengatur strategi bagaimana menidurkan dede hilmi dengan baik.

Oiya, sebenernya ada banyak sekali metode untuk menidurkan bayi. Paling tidak yang arin baca dari sumber2, ada dua metode yang cukup terkenal di US ini. Metode yang cukup laris manis buat orang US adalah metode Cry It Out. Intinya, bayi ditidurkan di crib (tempat tidur bayi) trus ditinggal sama orang tuanya dalam keadaan kamar gelap, dan terkondisikan untuk tidur. Biasanya bayi dalam keadaan belum tidur dan diposisikan sendirian di dalam kamar gelap dah pasti akan nangis dong ya..Nah tu bayi dibiarkan menangis sampai akhirnya ia tertidur sendiri.

Bayi tsb di training untuk tidur sendiri selama beberapa hari. Yang mulanya menangis selama 1 jam, hingga berkurang jadi 30 menit, lalu berkurang lagi jadi 15 menit, trus jadi 10 menit, hingga akhirnya bisa tidur sendiri tanpa menangis.

Kemudian metode yang lebih gentle, yaitu metode no tears method. Dari artinya saja kita sudah cukup memahami bahwa melalui metode ini, bayi tidak disuruh menangis hingga kecapean lalu tidur dengan sendirinya.

Dari website johnson baby ada tips yang cukup bagus untuk metode ini, yaitu :

a. Mandikan bayi di malam hari menjelang tidur

b. Meri pijatan rileks untuk baby

c. Lakukan aktivitas ringan, seperti membaca buku, menyanyi lullaby, atau membaca

quran misalnya =)

lalu ketika bayi sudah mulai lelah dan mengantuk, siapkan environment, dengan mematikan lampu, perdengarkan lagu yang lembut, jangan lupa sebelumnya bayi sebisa mungkin sudah dalam keadaan kenyang.

Nah, segera letakan bayi di tempat tidurnya (Crib), insyaAllah bayi akan tidur dengan pulas.

Nah...arin sendiri tidak setuju dengan metod Cry it out. It's too much for me. Seeing my sweetheart cry out loud like that, and I did nothing. Big no no.

At first, my hubby keep telling me about this method, since some of his friends successfully make their baby slept in this way. But I kept objected with that method.

And finally brought me to my long searching. Alhamdulillah I got this babycenter.com and educate myself. See that educating ourselves(mom) is really an important aspect in the family.

These are some of the link to the articles that I read.

1.http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-the-basics_1505715.bc?page=4

2.http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-no-tears-methods_1497581.bc?page=2

3.http://www.babycenter.com/0_establishing-a-bedtime-routine-with-your-baby_1507759.bc?page=1

4.http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-i-got-my-baby-to-sleep-through-the-night-two-families-te_1495436.bc?page=1

Alhamdulillah dede hilmi sudah semakin mudah untuk tidur. Buktinya nih umminya bisa nulis blog malem2, hehe...biasanya mana mungkin ^__^

Ternyata keep the routine to baby is an important point. Sekarang baby hilmi dibiasakan untuk tidur around 9 to 9.30.

And biasanya bangun untuk nursing sekitar jam 4 an..Ya lumayan kan...bisa tidur through the night.

Baby happy, mommy and daddy are happy as well !!

ALhamdulillah..Praise is only to Allah aza wajalla.

Pelajaran ke-2

• Lines 4-13 of poem
• defining ta'deeb & other definitions
• Imam Ghazali's Ihya Ulum al-Deen
• acquiring praiseworthy character at an early age
  

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4. To proceed: Disciplining (ta’dib) of children From their earliest is of the most important of matters
=> Ta'dib : Instililling proper manner.

5. That was affirmed explicitly by al-Ghazali The ocean of knowledge, the true in speech

6. He emphasized in Ihya `Ulum al-Din that Those responsible take serious care of their children

7. Because disciplining the child when young
Is an increasing of their perfections when their older

8. Through this they’ll attain unto high attainment
Contentment in this life and the good of the next life

9. Thus, it befits every grandfather and father
And the one appointed by a judge to discipline a child

10. Because the child is a trust (amana) with them
And the child’s heart accepts discipline from them

11. The mother warns the child by the father
To prevent them from vileness (khana) and idleness (la`ib)

12. For the child’s heart is like a pure candle
Jewel-like, accepting any image

13. It is proper for them to accustom their children
To be mindful (taqwa) so that they’re truly successful

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1. common def. tarbiyah

2. Adab and its important

3. Disciplining kids and why it's important and role of parents

Simt al-Iqyan

Simt al-Iqyan
Draft English Translation

(Copyright 2009 Faraz Rabbani. All rights reserved.)

1. Allah praise is due to Allah, the deserving of all praise
The giver of success to creation to the ways of guidance

2. For all that He has blessed us with
Praises that encompass the earth and heavens

3. Then blessing after that
Upon the Prophet, his folk, and companions

4. To proceed: Disciplining (ta’dib) of children
From their earliest is of the most important of matters

5. That was affirmed explicitly by al-Ghazali
The ocean of knowledge, the true in speech

6. He emphasized in Ihya `Ulum al-Din that
Those responsible take serious care of their children

7. Because disciplining the child when young
Is an increasing of their perfections when their older

8. Through this they’ll attain unto high attainment
Contentment in this life and the good of the next life

9. Thus, it befits every grandfather and father
And the one appointed by a judge to discipline a child

10. Because the child is a trust (amana) with them
And the child’s heart accepts discipline from them

11. The mother warns the child by the father
To prevent them from vileness (khana) and idleness (la`ib)

12. For the child’s heart is like a pure candle
Jewel-like, accepting any image

13. It is proper for them to accustom their children
To be mindful (taqwa) so that they’re truly successful

[Section]

14. The first of matters is childcare (hadana)
Because the child with their family is a trust

15. Every child should be nursed
With a nurse righteous in word and deeds

16. Who consumes the lawful not the prohibited
For temperament, they say, follows food

17. If their nursing is vile, the child will incline
Towards vile deeds, in the end and from the beginning

18. And when they grow you’ll find them desiring
Eating all the time, never satiated

19. They should teach them to eat with the right
And always beginning in the name of Allah

20. Not beginning before their companions
Eating the food that is immediately before them

21. Chewing each bite thoroughly
Not being hasty or taking continual bites

22. Eating the dry parts of food
To become accustomed to dry food without sauce

23. Sometimes, for dinner and also for daytime meals
So they don’t feel sauce is something they must always have

24. And keep them away from excess in adornment
And all excessively expensive clothing

25. Dress them in white cotton
Till they feel free in it from other clothing

26. If (a boy) wishes embroidered or colored clothes
They should be told that is for women not for men

27. And let them consider vile the clothing of the corrupt and effeminate
And fools, the openly sinful, and the like

28. Their body isn’t clothed in the best clothes
All the time, not their bedding always made soft

29. Rather, the more ruggedness they have
The easier they are to take care of

30. This makes one’s limbs tough and one doesn’t mind
Walking and other physical activity

31. They should be prevented from sleeping during the day
Lest they become lazy or make it a habit

[The Age of Discernment and the Manners Related to It]

32. If the signs of discernment become manifest
Of understanding virtues that is precious

33. And they begin to be shy regarding things
Then that is the beginning of the manifestation of light

34. A gift from their Lord who gifted it
Making things known by their consequences

35. That is the first of the understanding of a child
On whom the light of intellect has now dawned

[Teaching the child Qur’an and making them accustomed to bravery and rigors]

36. Then make them consistent in their Qur’an classes
For it is a knowledge of tremendous consequence

37. And it is also something that busies the heart of the child
Away from all that entails loss of propriety (adab)

38. And if the teacher hits the children
Or a parent does so to one of their children

39. Then they shouldn’t be like some women who cry
And seek intercession of others and complain

40. For the habit of the brave is that they don’t mention
Everything that happens to them--rather, they’re streadfastly patient

41. The relaxation of children after class time is for
Their guardian to allow them to play

42. For this is liked by children
And it brings joy to their hearts

43. Too much teaching deadens the heart
And diminishes intelligence and some insight

44. Such that they seek to any way or means
That would free from their classes.

45. Gentleness in all matters is better
As they’ve said, stated, and made clear

[What a discerning child should be taught]

46. After the light of intellect dawns
On a child, they’re commanded to pray

47. And they should hold fast to the actions of the noble elect (awliya)
The mindful of Allah, righteous, and pure

48. And deliberately keep their company
Until the child’s temperament corresponds to their temperament

49. And for what the child hears from them to become rooted in their heart
And for whatever could be imprinted in their heart become imprinted

[Protecting the child from negative company]

50. The child should be protected from the ignorant
Those of corruption and misguidance

51. And those known to lie and deceive
And those bereft of trustworthiness (amana)

52. For the basis of the manners of the most virtuous (akhyar)
Is protecting children from bad companions

53. For temperaments steal from temperament
And whoever keeps company with the vile gets lost

54. As has come in explicit texts from the Messenger
That the person’s temperament follows that of their close companions (khalil)

[Teaching children the proper manners (adab) of speech]

55. Children should be prevented from excessive speech
For it is from the habits of the lowly

56. And from initiating address
But, rather, their speech should be responding

[Warning against vows, swearing oaths, and listening to music]

57. From vows, they should also be prevented
Firmly, such that they keep away the rest of their life

58. And from poetry and music also
They should be prevented, for all time

[Proper manners with one’s company and people]

59. Spitting, blowing one’s nose, and clearing the mouth
Should not be done when one has company

60. Or cursing, insulting, and abusing people
As well as mixing with those dirty

[The command to humility and leaving avidness]

61. Children should be made to hold fast to humility
And leaving what occurs to them of avidness

62. For it is the gravest of vices
As I transmit from those truly reliable

[Warning children from love of gold and silver]

63. And from the love of gold and silver
They must warn them, for it is a grave vice

64. From the destructive poisons is love of them
So sound judgment is warning children from them

65. And he honors his brethren with proper manners
And everyone who he associates closely with of his companions.

66. And he makes room for those who come in
To a gathering that they are in

67. He honors the one who arrives by standing
Because he has distinguished manners

68. He listens to the words of every wise person
And becomes good in being attentive to the words spoken

69. The child should not boast about their food or drink
Nor about anything that his father owns

70. They should respect with the greatest respect
Anyone of honor amongst people

71. And the parents, and the teacher
And one's relatives and companions

72. If good deeds are manifest from them

One should reward them for them



73. And their worth should be made manifest & praised

For what they possess, among people, so that they’re pleased.



74. And if they do something wrong secretly,

They shouldn’t be punished openly



75. Nor should they be rebuked in front of other people

For otherwise, it is to be feared that they’ll lose restraint



76. And not care afterwards if they’re blamed

Or rebuked if they do anything wrong



77. Rather, they should be rebuked such that

No one else should know about it



78. Saying: This, if known about them, would be

Shameful, so they shouldn’t return to it



79. And, in this, one shouldn’t talk too much to them

Lest rebukes become light matters to them



80. Such that it is feared that they resolve & not care

About what they’d do afterwards of erroneous deeds.



[Warning Against Reprehensible Traits Such as Lying, Theft, and Others]



81. They should be warned with most intense warning

Against lying, vile deeds, and lewdness



82.And theft, and consuming the unlawful

For its consequence is sin.



[What a Child Must Known Upon Hitting Puberty]



83. When the time of puberty comes, and the child

Is well-aware of these matters, and not foolishly heedless



84. They should be made aware of the purpose of things

In both this life and in the Next



85. And that all the provisions of a person

Should be a means for them to worship the All-Merciful.


86. To have the strength to worship
And worship is the means to attaining felicity

87. Death is the nearest of awaited matters
And this life is an abode of passing-through

88. The next life is the lasting abode of dwelling
And each person shall find what they did

89. So one should maximize one’s acts of obedience
In this life, as provision for the next

90. When the child grows up disciplined
They’ll be refined when they reach puberty

91. And things will have an impact on their heart
Like the impact of a sharp sword’s blow

92. And in their heart will be imprinted the love
Of their Lord; and worship; and yearning

93. For everything that draws one close to the Gardens
And they’ll hold fast to this for all time.


94. If the growth of the child is contrary
To this way, they’ll grow up lying,

95. Exalting themselves, boasting to people
Holding on to lowly traits

96. Our words he won’t listen to for himself
For wrong will have become a disposition for them, rooted

[Command to the Parents and Counseling them to have Concern for their Children]

97. Thus, each parent has to pay attention
To each daughter and each son

98. And to shield them from all that leads to sinfulness
Not ignoring their children like wild beasts

99. For it has come in the Book of Allah: “Shield yourselves...”
From it is understood everyone under one’s responsibility

100. Meaning to grant them deep religious understanding, instill manners
Much religious instruction, and refinement of character.

101. It has come in the words of the Prophet
Muhammad, the Venerable & Respected

102. That a child is born in an Islamic natural disposition
And only after do they become Jews

103. If their parents make them, in loss
Or Christian or Magian

104. If they guide them to what is right
They will share completely in their reward

105. And if the child fails and is lost in their hands
Due to their errors, then the child’s sin is theirs

106. This, then, is the Discipline of Children
Which I gathered with ordered meanings

107. Of benefit to all who see it and
Then reflect on matters and their consequences

108. And it is Allah who guides all to the right way
Upon Him have I relied, for He is the best of guides

109. Then peace after the praise of my Lord
Upon the Chosen Prophet from Ka`b

110. And all the Prophet’s folk and followers
As long as lightening appears from rain-filled clouds.

The Prophet Muhammad's Love for Children

The heart of a child should be nurtured with belief in God and spiritualism at an early age. Learning about God at an early age will help a child to overcome the difficulties of this life, not only in their childhood, but also in later adult years. The more a child is exposed to a community that observes religion, the easier it will be for that child to understand and accept religion and spiritualism later in their life. It has been observed that children who grow up in a spiritual environment are more likely to establish healthy relationships with their parents [Nursi 2002]. Islam teaches that children are gifts from the all-compassionate and generous God. We should love and care for them with perfect compassion and tenderness to ensure their healthy growth.The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, who was referred to as the “Living Qur’an” by his wife Aisha, is a primary example of how to understand the Islamic concept of how to nurture children’s spirituality. Just as in other aspects of life, the Prophet Muhammad serves here as an example of how to raise children.In many of his teachings, the Prophet Muhammad emphasized the importance of showing children kindness and compassion. Since children are weak and powerless, their spirits flourish best when they come to know and experience for themselves their compassionate and powerful Creator. Through trust in God and surrender to His guidance, children will be able to face fears and challenges throughout their life. A child needs to feel safe, and the best way to give them this feeling is to teach them that God is the Most Merciful and the Most Compassionate and that He is protecting them from all evil. A child, weak and needy, can feel secure in life only through this belief. Furthermore, teaching a child to be grateful for everything they possess and receive is another vital aspect for healthy spiritual development. A child should be made aware that everything that is given to them ultimately comes from God. In this way, they will grow into a thankful and appreciative person.Showing mercy and love to children has a special place in the Prophet Muhammad’s teachings. To address the importance of mercy in children’s spiritual development, the Prophet stated, “Whoever does not show mercy to his children is not one of us [Muslims].” Thus the Prophet Muhammad taught that children should be approached with mercy, love, respect, and trust, while Islamic teachings particularly emphasize mercy and love. His wife Aisha gave the following example:

One day a person from the desert came to the Prophet Muhammad and said, “You are kissing children but traditionally we don’t kiss them.” The Prophet replied, “What can I do if God removed mercy from your heart?” (Bukhari, Ahlaq; Muslim, Kitab al-Fadail)

Another teaching by the Prophet on this concept concerns his grandson Hasan:

One day the Prophet was in one of the markets of Medina. He left the market and so did I. Then he asked thrice, “Where is the small child?” Then he said, “Call Hasan.” So Hasan got up and started walking with a necklace of beads around his neck. The Prophet stretched his hand out like this, and Hasan did the same. The Prophet embraced him and said, “O Allah! I love him, so please love him and love those who love him.” Since Allah’s Apostle said that, nothing has been dearer to me than Hasan. (Bukhari, Libas)

It is important to note, however, that the Prophet Muhammad was overall even-handed in his approach toward raising children. He was merciful and loving towards children, but he was also resolute in his guidance. Of the Prophet Muhammad, Fethullah G

Written by Yetkin Yildirim Wednesday, 22 March 2006

Source :http://www.infinitelight.org/content/view/8080/20/

The Prophet and Children

Prophet Muhammad, may God send His praises upon him, was an extraordinary husband, a perfect father, and a unique grandfather. He was unique in every way. He treated his children and grandchildren with great compassion and never neglected to direct them to the straight path and to good deeds. He loved them and treated them tenderly, but did not allow them to neglect matters related to the afterlife. He showed them how to lead a humane life and never allowed them to neglect their religious duties or to become spoiled.

His ultimate goal was to prepare them for the Hereafter. His perfect balance in such matters is another dimension of his divinely-inspired intellect. Anas Ibn Malik, the Messenger’s helper for 10 years, says:

“I have never seen a man who was more compassionate to his family members than Muhammad.”[1]

Muhammad was a human like us, but God inspired in him such an intimate affection for every living thing that he could establish a connection with all of them. As a result, he was full of extraordinary affection toward his family members and others.

All of the Prophet’s sons died. Ibrahim, his last son, died in infancy. The Prophet often visited his son before the latter’s death, although he was very busy. Ibrahim was looked after by a nurse. The Prophet would kiss and play with him before returning home.[2]

When Ibrahim took his last breaths, the eyes of the Prophet started shedding tears. Abdur-Rahman Ibn Awf said:

“O God’s Messenger, even you (weep)!” The Prophet said, “O Ibn Auf, this is mercy.”

Then he wept more and said:

“The eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.”

The Messenger was completely balanced in the way he brought up his children. He loved his children and grandchildren very much, and instilled love in them. However, he never let his love for them be abused. None of them deliberately dared to do anything wrong. If they made an unintentional mistake, the Messenger’s protection prevented them from going even slightly astray. He did this by wrapping them in love and an aura of dignity. For example, once Hasan or Hussain wanted to eat a date meant for distribution among the poor as alms. The Messenger immediately took it from his hand, and said:

“Anything given as alms is forbidden to us.”[3]

In teaching them while they were young to be sensitive to forbidden acts, the Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, established an important principle of education.

Whenever he returned to Medina, he would carry children on his mount. On such occasions, the Messenger embraced not only his grandchildren but also those in his house and those nearby. He conquered their hearts through his compassion. He loved all children.

He loved his granddaughter Umamah. He often went out with her on his shoulders, and even placed her on his shoulders while praying. When he prostrated, he put her down; when he had finished praying, he placed her on his back again.[4]

The Prophet showed this degree of love to Umamah to teach his male followers how to treat girls. This was a vital necessity; only a decade earlier, it had been the social norm to bury infant or young girls alive. Such public paternal affection for a granddaughter had never been seen before in Arabia.

The Messenger proclaimed that Islam allows no discrimination between son and daughter. How could there be? One is Muhammad, the other is Khadijah; one is Adam, the other is Eve; one is Ali, the other is Fatima. For every great man there is a great woman.

As soon as Fatimah, the daughter of the Messenger, entered the room where the Messenger was, he would stand, take her hands, and make her sit where he was sitting. He would ask about her health and family, show his paternal love for her and compliment her.

Fatimah, knowing how fond he was of her, loved him more than her own self. She always watched her father and how he called people to Islam. She wept profusely when the Messenger told her that he would die soon, but her tears of sorrow turned to tears of joy when he informed her that she would be the first of his family to follow him.[5]

This is the Prophet and his relation to children, A man respected by leaders, cherished and loved by children.

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Footnotes:

[1] Saheeh Muslim

[2] Saheeh Muslim

[3] Saheeh Muslim

[4] Saheeh Muslim

[5] Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim

By F.G. (edited by IslamReligion.com)

Source : http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/555/